Just a sidenote...

I wasn't going to do a post tonight, I was going to let the last few night's posts sink in for you all, but then it popped into my head today, while I was driving to a client's house, that part of showing goodness to your husband also means praying for him and his walk with God. So as a little sidenote I wanted to share with all of you a prayer ritual I have started doing for my "future husband" on a daily basis that I think is VERY beneficial. It's called praying for your husband from Head to Toe and I originally got it through an online devotional that one of my best friend's sent me a while back. By doing this you are literally covering your husband in prayer and it can be so powerful and life-changing. It's worth trying!

His mind: What he thinks about

His eyes: What he looks at

His ears: What he listens to

His mouth: The words he speaks

His neck: His decisions that turn his head

His shoulders: His burdens and worries

His heart: Who and What he loves

His back: His protection

His arms: His strength

His hands: His work

His ring finger: His marriage

His side: His relationships

His sexuality: His need for physical intimacy

His legs: His stand for the truth

His knees: His relationship with God

His feet: His walk

Now, I am very aware that we all are at different places in our faith journey, but I am at this spot where I make a point to pray on a daily basis (and multiple times within that day). It's a priority for me and since I spend a lot of time on the road that is generally when I get all of my prayers out. Along with that, I am a firm believer that God hears our prayers and not only that but I have seen prayers answered over and over and over again....and every time, it never ceases to amaze me. So if you are a little hesitant at first about praying for your spouse, I think that's completely natural, but I truly believe it is one of the BEST things you can do for your husband on a daily basis. I encourage you to give it a try!

Till Death do us Part

"...all the days of her life."

That's how Proverbs 31:12 ends. "She birngs him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

What does that mean to you?? This is a subject I am very passionate about, personally, and could go on and on about for pages, but I am going to try and keep it somewhat condensed tonight (it's getting kind of late). 

This scripture does not say that woman is to bring goodness to her husband ONLY during the week days, or ONLY in the beginning months of marriage, or ONLY when she feels like it, or ONLY when it is convenient for her. NO....a woman is to bring goodness to her husband ALL THE DAYS OF HER LIFE. 

When you married your husband, or when you get married (for you ladies who aren't yet), you said a vow to your husband "to have and to hold....for better, for worse...in sickness, and in health....according to God's holy ordinance...". I think during the wedding day couples so often rush through these words without even thinking what they really mean. Do you even know what you meant when you were saying these words? You are vowing to be there for your husband through it all, the good times and the hard times, according to God's ordinance. God expects you to show goodness to your husband from the day you say "I do" to the day you take your last breath. If that's not a lot to take in then I don't know what is...

It's not always going to be easy to show goodness. Some days it'll probably be the last thing you want to do for your husband. Some days you'll feel like he doesn't deserve it, but honestly, that is not your judgement to make, it's God's. If God puts it in your heart to show goodness and love to your husband on your wedding day, you need to figure out a way to keep that on your heart for the rest of your life, even on days when you love each other but don't "like" each other, or even on days when you aren't speaking, I'm not saying it's easy, I'll be the first to admit that I have no doubt in my mind it is hard. But it's so worth it for the rewards God will give you (as a couple). 

When I think about saying those words: "Till death do us part" on my wedding day, it kind of puts things into perspective for me. It's heavy on my heart. I am very aware that marriage takes work, I am very aware it has its fair share of struggles from time to time. I am a child of divorce, I saw my parents' marriage crumble in front of my eyes. That's probably why I am so passionate about this subject. It can be way too easy for people, especially my generation, to give up at the first sign of weakness or hard times in a marriage. Divorce is such an easy option these days, it's pathetic in my opinion. When did we become so willing to just throw in the towel and walk away as if it meant nothing? Why aren't people willing to fight anymore? Do you want to know what I truly think?? I think that not enough couples include God in their marriage. Your marriage should always be a 3-way: Wife, Husband, & God. You leave God out, and it's a recipe for disaster. I truly, TRULY believe that there is NOTHING a marriage can't endure if God is on your side and in your marriage. And I don't think that I'm being naive by saying that either. Knowing that I have God on my side and in my life every single day, makes it easier to someday say those words "Till death do us part". If you include God in your wedding (which I'm assuming you do if you get married in a church and do the typical rituals you do in a wedding), then why wouldn't you also include him in your marriage?? If God is in your marriage, I promise you, that He will see you through it all (the good and the bad) and will not disappoint you. 

The book I am studying out of, The Proverbs 31 Woman: One Virtue at a Time, says:

"Your walk with God is the key to having peace in the midst of a struggling marriage. You cannot control your husband's walk with God - only your own. But when you faithfully pray, read God's word and obey it, it will change the course of your marriage. So do you need a change of course today?"

It's kind of a no-brainer isn't it?? The answer is obvious. Pursue God. And Pursue showing goodness to your husband ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE.

Love Always,
Stefanie :)

Who is in the Lead?

As I continue to focus on Proverbs 31:12 and showing the virtue of Goodness, I can't help but think of other couples in my life and in history who do/did an excellent job showing Goodness to their husbands. I thought of the very first couple who was mentioned in the Bible, Adam & Eve. But after doing some research I have realized that they really didn't show the "perfect" example of goodness. In fact Eve did quite the opposite. Eve took the fruit from the tree that God forbid them to take fruit from and encouraged Adam to do the same. She encouraged Adam to join in the sin. Is this the kind of woman that Proverbs 31 describes? Not really....quite the opposite actually. In a marriage, it is important to understand the power of influence you can have over your husband. I'm not talking about power as "feminine rights" or anything like that. I'm talking about how your words, as a wife, can persuade your husband to do certain things.

Admit it, as women, sometimes we turn to nagging, begging, manipulating, or crying to get our way. Is that right? Not really....biblically it's not. I'm not saying you should never cry if you're upset and not getting your way. But I am saying that there are better ways to communicate your wants/needs/desires to your husband and it'll be more fair. A Proverbs 31 woman would not constantly nag her husband to get him to do what she feels he NEEDS to be doing. A Proverbs 31 woman would not consistently beg her husband to do something that she feels NEEDS to get done. A Proverbs 31 woman wouldn't manipulate her husband to do what she WANTS him to do. Be aware, as a woman, a wise woman at that, how your words/actions do have a certain pull/influence on your husband. Along with that, you need to check yourself and make sure you are influencing him in a positive direction. Sometimes we think We are always right but that can be selfish sometimes. I personally believe that nagging, manipulating, and begging are very unattractive qualities and I tend to be very aware when I see that in myself and try my hardest to not show those qualities because I know how I feel when I see them in others so I can imagine what that must look like on me as well. Wouldn't you rather your husband or significant other to do something because he WANTS to rather than because you MADE him or Nagged him or Begged him to do it over and over again. 

To all women reading this, remember, it is not your job to lead your husband. God will do that for you, allow him to be in control, because even though this may be hard for you to hear, you are not in control. God is. So do not attempt to lead your husband a certain way. Allow God to lead your relationship in the direction He wants it to take. God designed marriage so that the husband would lead it. This doesn't necessarily mean you allow him to make your every decision and to control your words and actions. It just means that he sets the path for the direction your marriage should go. As long as you have God in your relationship, and you both believe and love God, then you should be able to trust your husband and God to not lead it down a destructive path. This also doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your opinions or thoughts. Ephesians 5:22-24 states it perfectly:

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

I think that says it all. Just like we are to give our worries and burdens to God at the end of every day, we should be doing the same thing with our husbands. The husband is expected to be the head of the family, the leader. We need to allow him that position. You can't honestly tell me, that after nagging and complaining and begging your husband/significant other to do something that you are satisfied when it's done?? Wouldn't you much rather him to do things on his own when he feels it's necessary? Yes sometimes they need a push but it's so important to be aware of the way you communicate certain things to them. I just think the nagging and begging to get what you want out of him is not appropriate, in fact, I think it makes women look less attractive when they nag like that and I don't think it's a characteristic we should posess if we want to be Proverbs 31 women.

To truly show goodness to your husband, be WILLING to show goodness to him on a daily basis, and be wise and aware so that you are allowing him to be in the lead like God expects. But most of all, allow God to lead you both, together, because he means for you to be like "one". 

Love Always,

Stefanie :)