Who is in the Lead?

As I continue to focus on Proverbs 31:12 and showing the virtue of Goodness, I can't help but think of other couples in my life and in history who do/did an excellent job showing Goodness to their husbands. I thought of the very first couple who was mentioned in the Bible, Adam & Eve. But after doing some research I have realized that they really didn't show the "perfect" example of goodness. In fact Eve did quite the opposite. Eve took the fruit from the tree that God forbid them to take fruit from and encouraged Adam to do the same. She encouraged Adam to join in the sin. Is this the kind of woman that Proverbs 31 describes? Not really....quite the opposite actually. In a marriage, it is important to understand the power of influence you can have over your husband. I'm not talking about power as "feminine rights" or anything like that. I'm talking about how your words, as a wife, can persuade your husband to do certain things.

Admit it, as women, sometimes we turn to nagging, begging, manipulating, or crying to get our way. Is that right? Not really....biblically it's not. I'm not saying you should never cry if you're upset and not getting your way. But I am saying that there are better ways to communicate your wants/needs/desires to your husband and it'll be more fair. A Proverbs 31 woman would not constantly nag her husband to get him to do what she feels he NEEDS to be doing. A Proverbs 31 woman would not consistently beg her husband to do something that she feels NEEDS to get done. A Proverbs 31 woman wouldn't manipulate her husband to do what she WANTS him to do. Be aware, as a woman, a wise woman at that, how your words/actions do have a certain pull/influence on your husband. Along with that, you need to check yourself and make sure you are influencing him in a positive direction. Sometimes we think We are always right but that can be selfish sometimes. I personally believe that nagging, manipulating, and begging are very unattractive qualities and I tend to be very aware when I see that in myself and try my hardest to not show those qualities because I know how I feel when I see them in others so I can imagine what that must look like on me as well. Wouldn't you rather your husband or significant other to do something because he WANTS to rather than because you MADE him or Nagged him or Begged him to do it over and over again. 

To all women reading this, remember, it is not your job to lead your husband. God will do that for you, allow him to be in control, because even though this may be hard for you to hear, you are not in control. God is. So do not attempt to lead your husband a certain way. Allow God to lead your relationship in the direction He wants it to take. God designed marriage so that the husband would lead it. This doesn't necessarily mean you allow him to make your every decision and to control your words and actions. It just means that he sets the path for the direction your marriage should go. As long as you have God in your relationship, and you both believe and love God, then you should be able to trust your husband and God to not lead it down a destructive path. This also doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your opinions or thoughts. Ephesians 5:22-24 states it perfectly:

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

I think that says it all. Just like we are to give our worries and burdens to God at the end of every day, we should be doing the same thing with our husbands. The husband is expected to be the head of the family, the leader. We need to allow him that position. You can't honestly tell me, that after nagging and complaining and begging your husband/significant other to do something that you are satisfied when it's done?? Wouldn't you much rather him to do things on his own when he feels it's necessary? Yes sometimes they need a push but it's so important to be aware of the way you communicate certain things to them. I just think the nagging and begging to get what you want out of him is not appropriate, in fact, I think it makes women look less attractive when they nag like that and I don't think it's a characteristic we should posess if we want to be Proverbs 31 women.

To truly show goodness to your husband, be WILLING to show goodness to him on a daily basis, and be wise and aware so that you are allowing him to be in the lead like God expects. But most of all, allow God to lead you both, together, because he means for you to be like "one". 

Love Always,

Stefanie :)