Define "good".....

Proverbs 31:12 "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

I'm going to break this scripture up into two parts, which means two separate blog posts, b/c after reading it, studying it, praying about it, now sitting here just pondering it, I know that I have a lot to say about it so to spare you from reading a lengthy post I will break it up into two. 

A Proverbs 31 woman "brings her husband good, not harm" is where I will start. The first thing that I thought of was, Define good...where does all this goodness come from? Well I feel that's sort of an obvious answer, our goodness comes from God. If we pursue him he fills us with goodness. By having a relationship with God, being faithful to him, praying to him, trusting him....we end up possessing goodness as a part of our character.

You may be thinking, Well, this is an easy quality to possess, I show goodness to lots of people every day! but it's so much more than that. I can say the same thing! I show goodness to my coworkers, my roommates, my friends, my boss, my Mom, my sister, clients I work with, neighbors, bible study friends, (I could go on and on and on but I think you get the picture). Yes, we need to be showing goodness to everybody, that's very important, it's called "paying it forward" but the most important person to focus on showing goodness to needs to be your husband, ultimately. That's what this scripture is saying--she "brings her husband good, not harm".

At the end of the day, can you say that you honestly show good to your husband first and foremost? Sure, you might TALK about wanting to do good things to him or for him but do you show it in your actions on a daily basis? This passage in my study book, The Proverbs 31 Woman: One Virtue at a Time, says it perfectly, it says:

"She willingly cooks, cleans, cares for the children and stretches a dollar. she willingly submits, respects, and praises her husband. She willingly responds to his physical touch and seeks to satisfy him in the bedroom. She does not criticize him over and over for the same flaws but loves him despite his flaws. She knows the power of her words an would not, in a moment of anger, use them to harm him."

Wow! That says it all! (MAN, this woman is amazing!) I thought about putting that into my own words but I don't think I could say it any better. And the one word that continuously seems to show up as you read that passage is willingly. It doesn't say that her husband made her clean,cook, or care for the children. No, she WILLINGLY does it (and probably without complaining too!). 

Personally, I love to do certain things for a significant other, gives me a warm feeling inside and makes me feel good knowing that I am making someone else happy. Does it sometimes get old, or boring, or am I sometimes just too tired to do cooking/cleaning/etc.? Yes, and it's those times when I will maybe suggest doing it together as a couple or going out to eat instead or something but, generally, I think you, as a woman, should WANT to please your husband, that should be a daily goal of yours.

I think it can be so easy, after being with someone for a significant amount of time, to fixate on their flaws and how much they bug you. I know it can be easy to point them out over and over again or criticize them. But, to me, that's not love. If you truly love someone, you love ALL of them, their annoyances, their flaws, their physical traits, their habits.....all of them. Do you expect them to accept every part of you? Then it should go both ways. We all know we have flaws, I'll be the first to admit it! I tend to have blonde moments (as a brunette, but I was born a blonde so ya...), I can be very forgetful sometimes, I get this twitch in my leg sometimes where it'll shake non-stop, I over-think and over-analyze things way too much....I think you get the picture. We all have those things that are considered flaws. Whether or not they are deal breakers, is another story but some you should be able to look past and love the person despite them. That's what we are called to do. If it would hurt or bother you to have someone point out your flaws to you, then imagine how it would feel to your husband to hear you criticize and point them out to him. Your words are a very important tool, one you don't want to use to hurt or harm someone else. It doesn't matter how angry, upset, or frustrated you are, words aren't to be used against someone like that. We need to be using our words to build our husbands up, just as you would want. 

At the end of the day, we are all only human, so we will have slip-ups. But with this being a challenge you want to have the least amount of slip-ups possible. Imagine how many blessings will come your way, to you, your husband, and your marriage, if you truly start putting this trait to practice on a daily basis. As women, we need to strive to show good to others, but first and foremost, to your husband! Don't wait for him to ask, don't allow him to bug you to do it, just be WILLING. The more you are willing to do, you would be surprised the more HE is willing to do in return. I see so many blessings come to me every single day just by putting this trait "showing goodness" to practice by showing it to others. Ever heard of the quote, "You reap what you sew"? If you put goodness in, goodness will come out. Let's vow, from here on out, to show goodness (not harm) to others, or more importantly to your husband. 

Love Always,

Stefanie :)